So I'm done with college until January so that is fun! Hopefully I will get on here more and finish commissions. I'm also going to try to put up a new DA Id today, which I guess will be nice since I love doing photography but I'm still an amateur. Which doesn't matter because we are all learning.
In life I am very excited to see my friends (hopefully if they are ever not busy), and my lover. I also decided to delete one of my ex boyfriends because I finally came around to do it and I remember that my boyfriend said it made him uncomfortable, it also kind of makes me at the same time. I also decided never to think of them again, they were not worth my time then, and they aren't now. I've also come to the conclusion that most of them never really knew themselves and don't really know what love is for that matter. They treated me like crap and I feel really bad for the people they decide to date now. Its is also going to be my birthday soon, in January and I am going to let a bunch of what I think about negatively, go for once. It's going to be my 21 and I am going to be very excited. I've come to think that I've learned so much in 21 years of life, the good and bad, and mostly from my mistakes as a person. I've also considered the fact that not everybody is going to want to talk to me all the time, so I've got to reconnect with them and I miss them all very much. I also am very excited to think that my relationship is going to go to the next level. My boyfriend and I have been talking about it a lot and I cannot wait for it to become a reality, although it sort of feels like it is right now anyway.
I'm also reallllllllllly behind of commissions too. I started this thing on gaia, and I didn't really expect anybody to want my art in the first place but I guess they want some so I am going to try to get that done. I also decided not to compare my art to anybody else since it always causes me to stop and not upload stuff. I'm mostly working on peoples commissions that have really kept in touch about them. Since, well, they care more.
I guess I need to really my time. But I really do appreciate the opportunity that they would want my art in the first place.

Anyway here are some features I today

So these past months have been very overwhelming for me. I feel like I have been wanting to draw today and almost everyday since I have started school back up again. However it hasn't really been going well since I haven't drawn anything because of school. I'm getting a Science degree so I can get into nursing eventually. I'll probably go to Metro in Denver and CCD (Community College of Denver). I just feel like I'm tugging myself in a different direction then I want to go in. I love helping people and it would be a good match for me, including that the pay would be good too and would help financially in the future. But I want to keep on doing art, its very relaxing and it makes me feel better about myself, in a weird way or another, like accomplishment. I'm falling behind in school work also, I just can't concentrate with everything going on in my life at the moment. I feel like everything is tugging me and I can't get time to do things that I want. Kyle bought me this new 'Monster' anime book on how to draw and color females. I love to draw people and I hope to one day master how to draw them realistically and create my own style with that. I think I have created my own style in anime though so that is good. I really miss my friends too but it just seems like most of them have moved on so I don't really know what to do there. I also feel that I am wasting this subscription that I paid for on here, I bought so that I would be more inclined to do artwork and more motivated. I also bought just to see what the real big difference was. I think I would feel better about it if I earned it in some way that someone would be like,'Oh look at the artwork she does. She is such a great artist and inspiration to me, she definitely deserves a subscription.' Of course I wouldn't think that would be the case word for word. But it would be a great eye opener to me. I just hope if I practice a bit more then that will happen. That would sure feel amazing.
Also note to self I need to get to the gym more and work out. I can't waste my membership that my parents paid for. I need to get in shape.
All in all I am trying my best and I hope that is all that matters in the end.

So I have recently updated my account by buying a 3 month account to see if there is a difference or not between the two.

I got this skin from

Edit:
I don't really think my art is good enough at this point to have a subscription but I shall try my best. I think it will be mainly photomanipulations with a hint of photography with a pinch of classic anime art (since thats the best I can draw). I don't really have a lot of time to do art but I think I can handle doing one a day or week. College sucks your life out and its not good to do so but we all have to get a career and stop working at the mall.

This is how I woke up this morning: